The "R" Word =\

The "R" word is what I call a relationship. It's tending to scare everyone in 2009. I myself recently just got out of a relationship in June 2009. I'm not even going to speak on what happened with that because I would have someone angry if they read this lol. Lately, since being in the single life I've learned so much. Especially after Lynette let me read that Steve Harvey book, Act like a lady, Think like a man. It gave me a whole new perspective on how to live my personal life and how to react when a guy approaches me. Being that I was engaged I didn't realize how many people are actually not seeking a relationship. Now that I, myself is single I've noticed how many people that want to stay single. The only people that want to stay single seems to be the ones that have been in a long-term relationship and has gotten repeatedly "fucked" over by their partner when they have tried to do everything possible to make it work. To bad I can't drop any names on this blog lol I would have a whole list of decent people that have gotten fucked over in their relationship.

I'm go ahead and get straight to the point. Ever notice how you geton facebook, myspace, or any social networking page and you willnever log out without seeing a female saying, "Niggas ain't shit, I can do bad by myself." You even see men saying, "Fuck these hoes."One day I made my facebook status to say, "Why are all the good men only found in Tyler Perry movies?" All the females agreed on that lol. So I found it interesting. It seems to be true though! All Tyler Perry movies there is a woman down and out then there is a strong black man to sweep her off her feet eventually. REALiTY CHECK: Rarely ever happens!

First I want to start off by talking about the females in these relationships including myself. I am a full time student, 3 jobs, volunteer, mentor, and tutor plus still have time to party. I'm very independent but not to the point where I don't need help sometimes. I have own car, house, etc. I think I'm the prime example of a good woman but I do have flaws too and I am very picky when it comes to dating now. My new philosophy is that; "if you can't bring half or more to the table, then you are not on my level." I know I do a lot but I stay busy to get more accomplished and if I talk to a guy and he chilling at home playing video games most of the day or doesn't have any short term and long term goals then obviously he doesn't have his shit together.

From what I've seen in other females is that they don't have they shit together at all but end up with these fine, smart, successful guys and take advantage of them. I don't understand. After they take advantage of them then they want to catch attitudes and say niggas not about shit. Maybe if you get your life together and stop blaming the men then we would have some decent dudes in the world! The men that do try to do right get ran over and once they get out of the relationship then they say fuck it and don't seek another relationship or start treating females the way they previously got treated. This is where all the good men are going.

There's also the "fast" females out there where they're putting themselves out there as a whore, so this is why you are being called a whore because you are dressed for the part. Just like if you wearing a Halloween costume, then you expect people to know what you are don't you? Well dress like a whore, get called a whore. That's just how it works. Not everybody will believe that but hey somebody has to dress like a whore or the world just wouldn't be as interesting lol. Showing a little skin isn't a crime but women need to know how to present themselves to get the respect they deserve.

Women with the 3-5 kids, now you know you aren't as marketable so you need to be taking any kind of man you can get unless you really have your shit together! And all the kids can't be by different daddies! Can not get upset when a guy doesn't want to make himself step father to that many kids. Before you do find a man willingto take on step father role then you need to consider what your child says about him. I hate when women always put their man before their kids. That should be a sin! I really wish women would realize that when you lay down and open your legs then you have a 50/50 chance most of the time that pregnancy will occur. If you sleeping with somebody that isn't worth anything and you end up pregnant then this is what you should expect as the outcome-->NOTHING because he has nothing to offer! Same reason I don't watch Maury, all them women screaming, "He ain't worth shit, he got a small dick anyway, I'm 260% sure!" Its just like seriously, you didn't say his dick was small when your legs were open and he was yo boo before he got in the draws! A lot of this my mom taught me.

She always told me: -->"If a man is not willing to spend any money on you or ask about your future and goalsthen he doesn't see you in his future. You are a one time deal." -->"Your vagina is something you are suppose to treasure and you can't let just anybody touch your treasure." And my favorite one was recently where I told her that I love the single life because I go out and date etc...

She said-->"Dating can go two ways, while you think he only seeing you, he can be seeing somebody else too. So always keep your options open,never let a guy think he got you completely." That is one thing that sticks with me the most because some females know that theyaren't the only female but still give themselves to that guy constantly. There's different situations with all but why be number two when you can be a number one to somebody else and you will get what youreally deserve. I don't care how good the relationship maybe to you, its not worth the heartache. I can't go more into that because this obtains to a lot of my friends and I preach this everyday. It must be a new 2009 trend, I'm definitely not with it.

Now to talk about the males that apparently aren't "about shit."

The playa-playa men! Men taking on more than one woman is just as equal as a woman having more than one dude.Now men, yall can not get upset when your chick number two is out with a different dude and you happen to know about it.Its a good thing that you do know about it so you know that you are not her only option. Like the movie, two can play that game.

I love it how I see all these thugged out men with these sagging pants, all the tattoos, braids, chains, chevy, rims, and gold teeth.Where are you going in life with that look? Everybody can't be a celebrity. It doesn't matter if Obama is president, in this society it is still the white man's land and I don't see it changing to be truthful. You can't dress the thug part all your life. How can you be a 55 year old man with saggy tattoos and your teeth would be rottedby that time from the gold teeth! Some women like these kindof men but you can't expect the female that has her shit togetherto take you seriously when you look like this.

No job, no car, no own. If this is you then, sir you have nobusiness trying to make moves at any female that has what you donot have which is a job, car, and crib. Yall do not level out and it is not going to work. I see this happening everyday and I got personal experience of this situation. Yall can't expect to try to date when youdo not have money, a female likes to get treated out and bought things on occasion instead of always forking up the money for the bill.Dudes should feel they pride just sinking everytime that happens but sometimes it doesn't even bother dudes because they getting over.Then yall always want to complain because you don't have this or that but in reality if you wanted it bad enough then you would finda damn job to have a income of your own. NOT your parent's income. However, some guys are in college and I know its hard times now a days so you can't be treating all the time but damn can't a girl get at least a Mc Double!? Being a college student is no excuse for not working, working while in college is the NEW and REAL college life. Now the men without college in their vocabulary, there is really no excuse for you not working. Ain't no woman about to take care of a grown man!

The babydaddy kind of man. These men with all the babymamas or really more just one babymama, you can't expect a female to be all up on you. Women don't want to be step mama especially at our age. I know I don't want no part of it. Especially because the babymama will always be there in the end and the females have to deal with her and your child. I'm definitely not downing the men who have a child and they are a great parent doing the right thing. But mostly we have the men who have kids that they aren't taking care of their business but trying to hop on new booty and don't want to tell the female you are trying to date that you have a child. Your child needs to be your first priority.

Haha...those my thoughts for today :-D